Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want to walk on stilts...naked
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
