can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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