Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
