youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Boobs are out for the taking
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
