I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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