I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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