I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
