What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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