at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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