Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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