He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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