Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
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