I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
