Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
