weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
