Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
