i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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