win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
