Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
