so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
