How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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