I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I need moral support for this bender
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
