I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
