How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
