how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
