One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
