he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
MIDGETS
????
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
