You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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