Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
