I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she told me i tasted like america
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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