I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
