turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
