It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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