the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
