so that wasnt chicken after all
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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