how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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