Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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