dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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