Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
