It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
