I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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