he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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