So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
