I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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