zippers are such a cool invention
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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