all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
