So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
