I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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