Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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