ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
