Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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