I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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