Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed