No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
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We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.