dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.