Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
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They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security