explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
