Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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