I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
