My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
