We're like a lot better than the average bears
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
