i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
