I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
