you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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