Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
