I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
