after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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