I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
